The next topic I am choosing to write about affects us all and I have discussed this specific entity that filters thru our system so easily. Let me begin with middle school & high school years. These years have brought pain, joy, anguish, anxiety, hormones, happiness, friends, and even enemies. I cannot change these years even if I wanted to, however I can look back, forgive myself and hope that the one’s that I did hurt forgive me. As you can see I am not completely proud of some of these events that took place throughout some of those years. I choose to not beat myself up because what would that solve? We need to move on….
The other day I witnessed an event that I want to share with all of you. This event that took place immediately brought me back to my “hormone years.” I was listening to a few girls talk the other day. One of the girls mentioned another girl that was not present. She started describing how this particular girl thought she was so cool and from there on the infection started to spread! All but 3 of these girls went on and on saying negative things. I waited and eavesdropped a bit.( I know, I know). When it finally seemed like the disease was coming in for a cure, I walked right up to Avery, hugged her and whispered in her ear, “I am so proud of you not getting sucked into that conversation.” She smiled and I felt like all of my writings and teaching my kids kindness paid off one hundred fold!
Do you remember how easy it was to get sucked into a conversation like that? I do remember one particular time when a group of friends and myself got completely sucked into one of those moments! At first you feel your adrenalin just kick off into high gear. Your EGO has completely taken over your source and when it is over you feel hung over. What I mean by that is you feel like shit. You walk away from the conversation and know all of the things you puked out were not kind and you know it was wrong. That one night I remember, I wish I could do all over, because I felt completely hung over!
What makes us so mean sometimes? How can we understand that what is taking place at that yucky time is just wrong? My intent with this post is to simply make people stop and think when you are having a conversation with someone, about someone else. Instead of having a negative response to an individual you are discussing, try and send them happiness, positive energy and love. By doing this you as well will have a happy and good vibration. Some of you may be saying right now, “Sandi that is so freaking corny! I hate so and so and wish them nothing by paybacks and hell.” How does that make you feel? You sound pretty angry about something so how can you feel good? Hate only creates hate. Sorry, you are no better than anyone else, including them. We are all connected and by wishing others joy instead of hate you can create joy and be JOYFUL!
Another thing I would like to mention to parents is please don’t say, “Oh well, you know kids, they are going to be mean and unkind. This is a phase.” BULLSHIT! Try and engrain into them how wrong this is. Also when you as a parent are having a conversation with someone else, ABOUT someone else, stop and think about what message you are sending your kids as that moment. (Trust me they are listening)…..I as a parent have caught myself bitching about somebody in front of my kids. How am I teaching them kindness and setting any positive example? When I do slip, I ALWAYS apologize to my kids and say what I did was wrong and in no way should they follow the same path as I had just then.
As parents, we make mistakes and need to acknowledge that to our kids. Just because we are older does NOT make us any wiser! Kids need to see we are human just like them and make mistakes! Growing up I sometimes felt like my parents were allowed to mess up and not own up to it. Whereas when I screwed up (doing the same thing as them) it was different because they were the adult and I was the kid. We need to get OVER ourselves! Sorry, I got a bit off track…..
Whether you are 4, 14, 40 or 84 you all should give and get the same respect! Please really try and send joy to someone right now you have had a falling out with. Move on, let go, FORGIVE and BE FREE! That is the only way you can enjoy the rest of your journey. Peace
p.s. When someone is complaining about someone else to you and you know you do not want to get sucked into the conversation, just smile and nod. Or change the subject ASAP! They will get the hintJ