Wow! It has been way to long since I have written- Tons of topics and ideas have come to my head, however what I chose was to not write…….(so sad).
Anyway, last week, Avery and I were having a little discussion about school & life. She started sharing some information with me that I needed to not only write about, but also share with you. Now I have my own opinion (of course), and I will do my best not to share it until the end. I would love for all of you to share your thoughts also as soon as you let this message sink in.
Avery was telling me about something one of her teachers was discussing in class. The topic was about education and the importance of it. So far so good right? The teacher went on explaining how now was the time to really focus, study hard and do their best. The message so far I am very pleased with and grateful. The teacher went on discussing the validity of a great education and right then decided to top of the topic with stating that if the students decided to slack off, stop studying and not focus then they would wind up flipping burgers or working at Market Basket. Okay, read that last sentence again and really let it sit and sink in…….
Alright, I couldn’t wait any longer……WTF? Really? When Avery finished telling me this I composed myself so she wouldn’t see my immediate reaction. I asked her what she felt and thought about this comment. She looked at me and said she thought it was mean. At that moment I had never been more proud. I am so relieved my daughter formed her own opinion out of this asinine comment. What messages are we sending our kids? Some of you may completely disagree with me and think the teacher’s comments were correct. I think the comment was the most judgmental piece of bullshit I have ever heard. Who are we to say flipping burgers or working at a grocery store is for the people who gave up on education? This is exactly what is wrong with our society. These comments are what forms kid’s opinions of others and makes others feel bad. We need to stop the madness and the only way we can do that is by teaching our kids equality and let them find their own happiness without including our happiness into their journeys. Stop living through your kids and let them figure out if they want to go to college, get married, have kids or just be who they want!
I decided to give Avery a little scenario. I told her to imagine she was a fashion designer. “You are so excited about this career and you start putting in lots of hours and coming home late each night. You love your job, you are “successful”(whatever that means), and people are starting to notice your work. You then meet a great guy and want to build a wonderful and happy life together. You get married and are now working 12 plus hours a day and are only seeing this great guy when he is sleeping. You are tired, stressed with work and with this wonderful life you were supposed to be building together. You thought that this dream job was the way to a happy heart. Clients are becoming more demanding and you cannot fit another hour into each day. Your husband wants to start a family and you always knew that you as well wanted children. The little bundle of joy appears and you get a whole 4 weeks off with your baby, well four weeks of not leaving home but still getting phone calls from bosses, and clients. You cannot juggle it all anymore, but instead of leaving your “successful” career you take out all of your frustrations on your family. Eventually your husband can’t stand the stress your job is bringing on, never sees you anymore and is done! He wants a divorce and you have joint custody with this beautiful child. “
Alright, now let’s pretend you work at Market Basket. You go to work each day, do your job and meet people who can be demanding sometimes, but at the end of your 8 hour day you can leave with no interruptions from customers or bosses. You go to a home that is not huge but is filled with an infinite amount of love and balance. The life you wanted to build with your dream guy is happening right before you with no added amount of stress. Yes, sometimes bills add up and money is not infinite, but everything always works out just like it is supposed to. The salaries you receive are not doctors, lawyers, or fashion designers, but the happiness outweighs the headaches each moment you sit and appreciate what you have and what you don’t have. I ended it with, “So Avery, what do you think? Which lifestyle would you pick?” She looked at me for a few seconds and smiled like my question was a no brainer
So here is my final analysis and I will shut up. We are not taking any material items with us, such as clothes, cars, or money when we are laying on our death beds and getting ready for our final expiration date. When I expire, I want to be surrounded by my dream guy who may or may not flip burgers and my kids who could possibly work at Market Basket. All that matters is their happiness and what brings joy to them. Please be careful how you speak to your kids about their future. Let them decide what feels good and what feels bad. You are doing them such a disservice of human nature when you throw out comments of what you were taught and actually think your advice or opinions are superior to anyone else’s. Instead teach kindness and compassion. Peace